Category: Interview

Pamela Anderson answers your DMs about sex and love

Love is complicated, right? As if it wasn’t confusing enough, in the information era it’s become more and more complex – we might be just one swipe away from the lover of our dreams, but maybe we’re overloaded by options. While hooking up is undoubtedly easier than ever, the acceleration of technology has left some people confused about what they really want, and who with.

We invited Pamela Anderson – iconic actress and beacon of sensuality, sensitivity, and sexuality – to come onboard as our guest sex and relationships editor, answering Dazed readers’ questions about self-esteem, threesomes, and what to do if your partner is overly dependent. We had a lot to get through (thanks to everyone who submitted!). We’ve taken out the Instagram handles and email address to protect the askers’ privacy and personal relationships, but each question published below comes from a different Dazed reader.

I’m with a boy who is going through an ‘asexual’ period, and I would like to know how to help him feel sexual again.

Pamela Anderson: I heard that this is an epidemic. Or maybe it’s an evolution in the age of technology and germ phobias. Does he watch a lot of explicit pornographers or video games? Does he feel numb? Is he sure of his sexuality? Too much masturbation or fantasies about cyber film stars or video games like Fortnite seem to be an addiction. Wasting time. Is YouTube taking up his time? It’s a confusing time with so much access to so much visually. I guess you must be brave – experiment with getting his attention. But don’t blame yourself. Does he share what he fantasises about? What gender? What are his fears?

Being a lover is vulnerable, especially to a sensitive person. An empath dives deep and can get depressed, and some are just afraid of love. We share our souls forever with someone we share our bodies with, and that can be scary. A computer has no attachment. And multiple bodies to look at to get excited about. It’s a dangerous time for good sex. We must do all we can to keep human connections – we are stronger in pairs. Maybe have this conversation with him as a caring friend. And look for love and a great lover who isn’t afraid somewhere else.

What was the process like, to build self-esteem and security for yourself, being conscious of all those faux stereotypes and ideas about you? I’m interested in the atmosphere that gets created around women who carry a beauty that often gets criticised somehow, as though people can’t feel, love, or have their own convictions.

Pamela Anderson: Well, I am a woman first. I was raised by fun-loving women who enjoyed all aspects of love and loving, romance and good sex. It was modelled for me on their voracious behaviors. They were beautiful and bubbly and enjoyed life. I don’t think about my image or my past. When men try to put me on a pedestal, it’s the worst. It’s isolating and lonely to be so protected. It’s also someone that will cheat eventually. Thinking you are too perfect makes men insecure and have to seek attention from others. I just want to walk hand in hand through the streets and kiss and laugh and love. But some men have a fear of treating me as a normal girl. This is what I want more than anything.

What’s your opinion on doing threesomes, groups, or ‘sex clubs’ with your partner?

Pamela Anderson: I have never had a threesome or group sex in a positive way. But to each their own. All my lovers were too jealous. Except for maybe one that fantasised about me being with a woman and watching us. It sounds tempting sometimes. But I’m too romantic. I don’t enjoy sex without love and commitment. It’s not mechanical or to show off. It’s about intimacy and sharing secrets.

Dear Pam, my boyfriend is the nicest person I know and I love him a lot. However, he’s 41, and although he eats relatively healthy, he’s not active and hasn’t taken care of his body since we started dating six years ago. Context: we’re both guys, I’m 27, and I’ve had the body of Britney Spears circa Y2K since puberty, so I don’t know what he’s going through. I want a hunky dude and I want it to be him! How can this be managed?

Pamela Anderson: You must be honest. Like you’d want your best friend to be with you. Go to the gym together. Take long walks. Go vegan. It’s better for his health. And I’m sure things will get better. Being vegan is an aphrodisiac diet. It’s a win-win. Meat makes you impotent and unhealthy. Hopefully he’s not on the computer or video games all day. That will change your body. A man with a flabby butt from sitting all day is not attractive. This creates an unattractive body. I’m not a fan of this lifestyle – it’s boring.

I’m in an overly dependent relationship, my partner is really needy. How do I break up with them?

Pamela Anderson: You must… or seek therapy. Unhealthy attachments and jealousy destroy all. And it’s crazy-making.

Someone in the bedroom says, ‘do something kinky’. What do you do?

Pamela Anderson: It’s up to them to be more specific. Sex toys can be fun.

How do you tell if someone wants you for your brains, and not just your body?

Pamela Anderson: Well, you need someone to love both. The mind is the most erotic part of the body. Stimulate my mind and the body follows.

What is your opinion on having a boyfriend and sugar daddy at the same time? Morally wrong or financially smooth for a young, broke millennial?

Pamela Anderson: I’m not an advocate of this. One man at a time is all I can handle. Plenty of sugar daddies out there. I can’t make love to someone I’m not attracted to. Not any amount of money or presents are worth it.

How can I start a polyamorous relationship successfully?

Pamela Anderson: Move to Utah? I recently met a woman who has a husband and a lover in the house. They all raised the kids together. It’s never been different, it’s a personal choice. They are happy but there is no way I could do it.

Like you, I like to show how sexy I am, but I’m tired of receiving unsolicited dick pics from men in my DMs. How do I make idiots understand that I ain’t looking for their attention?

Pamela Anderson: Block and delete.

source: DazedDigital.com

Pamela Anderson Is Here to Save Your Sex Life

With her bleached blonde hair and buxom assets, Pamela Anderson may famously known as a sex symbol, but these days, the former Baywatch star and vegan activist is writing books about intimacy in the era of hookup apps.

Lust for Love: Rekindling Intimacy and Passion in Your Relationship, which was released April 24, is co-authored by Anderson with Los Angeles rabbi Shmuley Boteach, who has written more than 30 books on love and relationships. The duo paired up to encourage us to get off our smartphones and start paying attention to the people around us — namely, our partners.

Anderson, who has been through several partnerships herself — marriages to Tommy Lee, Kid Rock and two marriages to Rick Salomon — now lives in the south of France with her 32-year-old French boyfriend Adil Rami.

This book reads like a conversation between the two authors, who offer tips on how to keep the fire alive in your relationship, like meeting at a hotel in the middle of the day to have sex, bringing sex toys into the equation and touching each other under the dinner table at group gatherings. They also pull examples from the past to illustrate the present, drawing upon the turbulent romance of Napoleon and Josephine, the poetry of Anaïs Nin and the love story between Estés and Manawee from Women Who Run with the Wolves).

PAPER caught up with Anderson about online distractions and why commitment is sexy.

You recently released your new book Lust for Love. Where does the conversation begin between you and your co-author Shmuley Boteach?

We met because he was curious how my public and private persona were at such odds. He knew my neighbors who had a birds eye view of my real life as a mom and active participant in the community. We met and both decided that each of us should write a book. Then [we] thought [it’d be] even better to write a book together on the topic of sensuality. I was writing already about a sensual revolution to make up for the disaster the sexual revolution handed us in love and relationships, commitment and romance. He had such great advice for me — I was facing a difficult divorce — with all the elements of love but desensitization, modern thinking and distractions destroying my every day. Shmuley is brilliant. He has great advice for anyone wanting to be in love, and stay there.

A revolution of intimacy feels timely, what are the most important step people can take?

To not be lazy or take your lover for granted.

A lot of people are dealing with online temptations (secretly flirting with other people online, joining hookup apps). Why are you a firm believer in monogamy in today’s dating world where polyamory is becoming more popular?

Mental fidelity is a challenge, but worth it. I make sure to clear my phone and social media of temptation. I’m human after all and love is respect — I only have eyes for my lover — and I’d rather peel back layers and be brave, vulnerable and have great sex with someone I trust and love. Not just mediocre sexual situations in loveless encounters. It’s too easy. I’m stronger than this, and I demand more.

How can people make love again passionately if they’re in a relationship where it has fizzled out?

Remember what you love about that person and start there.

What is the most damaging thing to a relationship, in your opinion?

Infidelity and lies. Be brave enough to be honest.

Is one way of getting out of a porn addiction turning to the pillars of eroticism?

Porn is for masturbation — I think the most unfulfilling part of sex. It’s numbing us. And it goes with the times — fast food that is unfulfilling. We are all zombies on phones, under surveillance and right where they want us. The bewildered herd. Make an effort to come back to life. Choose to live. Not fall into the trappings. Fight back. Fall in love. It’s rebellious. Now we need this more than ever. And combat everything. We are stronger in pairs.

The book covers divorce, porn and erotica. How do you feel about those topics today?

I am a romantic. I keep trying, but I believe in respect. And know that there is someone right for you — you just do your best. Don’t be afraid to commit to someone. It’s sexy.

What is the secret for the art of making love?

To learn about the other person — a wonderland who changes every day. Learning, growing. It is never boring if you keep learning.

Lust for Love: Rekindling Intimacy and Passion in Your Relationship is out now.

Source: PaperMag.com

Pamela Anderson on her aversion to ‘anti-ageing’

At 50 years old, Pamela Anderson is still proudly playing poster girl for female sexuality and empowerment, and in partnership with luxury lingerie brand Coco de Mer has released her first collection as its brand ambassador. Designed to flatter the figure (not hard in Anderson’s case), the campaign – shot by famed photographer Rankin – sees the star taking control of the camera in a modern take on 1960s pin-ups.

To celebrate the launch of the 34-piece Pamela Loves Coco de Mer collection, we caught up with the world-famous face to talk about her attitude to ageing, beauty, love and lingerie.

How do you describe your signature beauty look and how did you reach it?

“The ‘just got out of bed’ look, mostly with smudgy black eyes. It happens naturally. I’m not great at washing my make-up off at night. Things usually get carried away before then. I like to start off classy and elegant, but my look evolves behind closed doors.”
What’s your beauty philosophy?

“Have fun and do your best. Always take time for yourself, even five minutes in the morning to feel pretty.”
When do you feel your most beautiful?

“In bed with my love [footballer Adil Rami].”

What are your thoughts on the term ‘anti-ageing’?

“I don’t think it’s a good word. It’s a gimmick to sell things. I prefer ‘without age’ – ‘ne pas avoir d’âge’.”
Do you have any beauty regrets?

“No, not really. Everyone is self-critical. [But] I wouldn’t have done anything differently.”

Have you always worn SPF?

“Never – my parents never put SPF on me. And then I found out how it polluted the ocean [Bazaar recommends biodegradable sunscreens for sea-swimming]. I never wore sunscreen on Baywatch. Just oil.”
What are your tips for doing a classic smoky eye?

“Just don’t be afraid to put it [make-up] on. Then blend away. It gets better throughout the night.”
How do you enhance your iconic brows?

“They are natural. I fill them in with pencil. I have never tattooed my make-up on, or waxed anything.”

Who is your personal beauty icon?

“My mom, my late great auntie Vie and my late grandma Rose. All beautiful, fun loving romantics. They taught me how to set a table. How to prepare myself for love. They were my biggest influences. Strong minded, independent thinkers that loved to be sexy and in love.”
What is your favourite fragrance?

“Coco de Mer Roseravished Oil – I pour it all over me. My boyfriend loves to inhale me… it is our scent, not just mine.”

What are your must-have Coco de Mer products?

“I love it all. Coco de Mer are the perfect combination of sexy and naughty that I like. Blindfolds, toys and lots of body oil – I’m addicted.”
Does wearing quality lingerie make you feel more beautiful?

“I love lingerie and so does my boyfriend. Men appreciate it even more than we think. Tease your man into [getting you] a sexy gift for Christmas – something he wants to see you in. Make it playful and daring for a holiday you’ll never forget. Who knows what tomorrow may bring. Be joyful and take risks, [it’s] the best adrenaline.”

source: harpersbazaar.com

Read more: http://pamanderson.proboards.com/thread/9009/aversion-anti-ageing#ixzz50nU24jDE

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